I don't know why.....there aren't really enough good reasons, but anyway...I've been gone a long time, but now I'm back....at least for today.
I'm feeling really disconnected - or it's more that I'm incredibly up and down on that front. I can't get to a place where I feel great about what I'm doing.
It's not about the job specifically, the project I'm working on is great, and bureaucratic messing about aside, it's actually going remarkably well. I think that I'm more bogged down in a sense that I'm missing some things that I need. I don't really know what, but I'm feeling sort of empty at the moment. As though I'm going through the motions of having a life, but I'm not in a place where I can really build on anything.
And now here I am moaning about that, which is also unproductive. But that's just the way I feel...Things are just too heavy at the moment for me to do anything more than bear the load.
Maybe I'll try and post again when I'm in a better mood so I can share the good things that are going on.
Sunday, 30 September 2012
Monday, 11 June 2012
Campfire and Art
We had a campfire at the farm this weekend. There was a really beautiful collection of sculptures that were errected around the fire - they were huge mirrored pieces. Some teapots and farm animals - they were beautiful.
I'm really in love with light at night at the moment - the trails and delays of it - the paths it creates.
I've also made a video for the farm. I'm supposed to be doing one a month, but there's been a bit of a delay in getting started. Here's the first one:
Wednesday, 16 May 2012
199 posts, that's a good number
199 feels better than 200, I'm glad I've got this far, it's much further than I've ever gone with any paper diary.
I'm in London today, ostensibly here to go to a talk on European Lit at the British Library, but the trip has expanded to be a great day of culture which will hopefully make up for what I miss by living in the countryside. I wouldn't want to undo my rural experience at all, it's inspired so many interesting thoughts and ideas (which I will hopefully expand upon here at some point), but it does cut me off from lots of things that I really love.
Today will be art, great bookshops, inspiring talks and lovely cakes. I will post all about it later I presume, or not - consistency on this stuff is not my strong point.
At the moment, I am reading A Supposedly Good Thing I'll Never Do Again, which I thought I would save as a treat for myself, given that I only just finished Consider the Lobster, but it was calling to me:
I'm in London today, ostensibly here to go to a talk on European Lit at the British Library, but the trip has expanded to be a great day of culture which will hopefully make up for what I miss by living in the countryside. I wouldn't want to undo my rural experience at all, it's inspired so many interesting thoughts and ideas (which I will hopefully expand upon here at some point), but it does cut me off from lots of things that I really love.
Today will be art, great bookshops, inspiring talks and lovely cakes. I will post all about it later I presume, or not - consistency on this stuff is not my strong point.
At the moment, I am reading A Supposedly Good Thing I'll Never Do Again, which I thought I would save as a treat for myself, given that I only just finished Consider the Lobster, but it was calling to me:
(Sadly, I don't have this edition. I wish I did)
It's really good, there's nothing more I really need to say. You'd be a fool not to read it, but it's not for me to prevent you being foolish.
Here is a secret that only one real-life person knows (it is only a secret because I don't want people asking me about it): I am writing a novel. It's just a writing exercise - sort of to see if this is something that it's possible for me to do. I think that once I've got over the question of whether this lies within my grasp, then I will be able to focus on making something that is the novel I want to write.This one is just composed of what comes into my head at the rate of 300 words a day. It is surprising how it's taking a direction I never would have predicted, each day brings something unexpected, often completely at odds with what I had previously planned. I'm really enjoying it.
I think that's all for today. There are three 50-something men in suits at the table next to me having really boring conversations that make me so glad I don't have a real grown-up job where people have all-day meetings about sales-forecasts and delivery-projections. I want to leave to get away from them.
Saturday, 14 April 2012
Too Tired Really
Too tired by half, but I'm here in the room with the internet for once, so I thought I owed it to the blog to stop by. I have a LoveFilm trial and got unlimited streaming for a couple of months, hence the internet connection (and the new-found love of Cougar Town).
I don't have any new photos to share, partly because I've not downloaded from my camera in a while and partly (mostly) because I haven't taken many recently. Not really sure what I've been doing for the past couple of weeks - not really got into a book properly (just dipping in and out of a few), not taken photos....I have completed a cross-stitch flower from a kit a friend brought me, but that's probably the only constructive thing. Think I may make this one next (from Subversive Stitch):
By utter coincidence, I came across this quote just as I finished writing that bit about procrastinating and writing:
"One must be drenched in words, literally soaked in them, to have the right ones form themselves into the proper pattern at the right moment." Hart Crane
I should be doing more. Today at lunch I considered writing something (fiction I mean), but leapt away from the idea as soon as I realised I urgently needed to write a letter (since when has a letter been urgent? Certainly not at all since the invention of the internet, or even the phone really, but this one seemed necessary).
I have a secret - I should be writing non-fiction. I know it, and I have been told it in the past, but it isn't enough for me. In fact I actively avoid it, even though I would be good at it. Even though the news of a friends PhD place makes me yearn for detailed research and complex arguments. I am avoiding it. I am avoiding all things that might seem sensible but don't feel right. I think that's OK, I think that it will turn out alright for me...well, in some way, in some sense of alright that may only make sense with a very long-lens sort of hindsight.
This week I saw a duckling and a gosling hatch, so I'm pretty certain everything is fine.
I don't have any new photos to share, partly because I've not downloaded from my camera in a while and partly (mostly) because I haven't taken many recently. Not really sure what I've been doing for the past couple of weeks - not really got into a book properly (just dipping in and out of a few), not taken photos....I have completed a cross-stitch flower from a kit a friend brought me, but that's probably the only constructive thing. Think I may make this one next (from Subversive Stitch):
By utter coincidence, I came across this quote just as I finished writing that bit about procrastinating and writing:
"One must be drenched in words, literally soaked in them, to have the right ones form themselves into the proper pattern at the right moment." Hart Crane
I should be doing more. Today at lunch I considered writing something (fiction I mean), but leapt away from the idea as soon as I realised I urgently needed to write a letter (since when has a letter been urgent? Certainly not at all since the invention of the internet, or even the phone really, but this one seemed necessary).
I have a secret - I should be writing non-fiction. I know it, and I have been told it in the past, but it isn't enough for me. In fact I actively avoid it, even though I would be good at it. Even though the news of a friends PhD place makes me yearn for detailed research and complex arguments. I am avoiding it. I am avoiding all things that might seem sensible but don't feel right. I think that's OK, I think that it will turn out alright for me...well, in some way, in some sense of alright that may only make sense with a very long-lens sort of hindsight.
This week I saw a duckling and a gosling hatch, so I'm pretty certain everything is fine.
Wednesday, 14 March 2012
Reading non-fiction
(Let's skip the usual 'oh no, I haven't been here in so long, I'm a terrible person' shall we, and get right down to business.)
I have never been much of a non-fiction reader, perhaps because I've not found it sufficiently absorbing, and also due to the fact that I have such a terrible memory that I forget all the interesting stuff I feel I ought to be learning from it. However, I have recently started reading it more than anything else for some reason, and I'm finding quite a lot to engage with. OK, I'm kindof cheating, in that much of what I'm reading is quite strongly related to fiction, but I'm still making a gesture towards non-fiction, which is worth something.
One of the best books I've read in ages is Burn This Book, a PEN book edited by Toni Morrison, in which several authors write on the subject of literary censorship and oppression. It's very interesting, in that so many different approaches were taken, when I might have worried that they'd be a repeat of the same argument over and over. I'd really recommend it.
I've also recently read How to Be Alone by Jonathan Franzen, and I'm currently on Consider the Lobster by David Foster Wallace. I guess what's interesting about these two is that the essays within them are on topics of almost unbelievably irrelevant detail (50 pages on the demise of the Chicago post system from JF, another 50 on the porn world's version of the Oscars from DFW). I think that it's probably this detail that I love, in the same way that I love entering a completely foreign situation in a novel. It's like peeking behind some heavy curtain that you were never even meant to notice was there.
My real non-fiction love, however, is always going to be the Paris Review Interview books. I'm pretty sure I've written about them here before:
I love them so much, and they meant such a great deal to me at a particular time in my life (a time that I now feel strongly reconnected with), that I've got the quotation marks tattooed on my ankle. I wanted quotes for a while, and it made them feel more significant to get these particular ones, as they were so personal to me:
I really love the tattoo. It's a strange one though because I've thought about it for so long that it already feels as though I've always had it.
I went to my favourite local place today, Quiller Books in Buntingford, and picked up some more lovely non-fiction (including a lovely edition of Walden, complete with beautiful monochrome woodcut illustrations), so I'm off to get back to some reading!
I have never been much of a non-fiction reader, perhaps because I've not found it sufficiently absorbing, and also due to the fact that I have such a terrible memory that I forget all the interesting stuff I feel I ought to be learning from it. However, I have recently started reading it more than anything else for some reason, and I'm finding quite a lot to engage with. OK, I'm kindof cheating, in that much of what I'm reading is quite strongly related to fiction, but I'm still making a gesture towards non-fiction, which is worth something.
One of the best books I've read in ages is Burn This Book, a PEN book edited by Toni Morrison, in which several authors write on the subject of literary censorship and oppression. It's very interesting, in that so many different approaches were taken, when I might have worried that they'd be a repeat of the same argument over and over. I'd really recommend it.
I've also recently read How to Be Alone by Jonathan Franzen, and I'm currently on Consider the Lobster by David Foster Wallace. I guess what's interesting about these two is that the essays within them are on topics of almost unbelievably irrelevant detail (50 pages on the demise of the Chicago post system from JF, another 50 on the porn world's version of the Oscars from DFW). I think that it's probably this detail that I love, in the same way that I love entering a completely foreign situation in a novel. It's like peeking behind some heavy curtain that you were never even meant to notice was there.
My real non-fiction love, however, is always going to be the Paris Review Interview books. I'm pretty sure I've written about them here before:
I love them so much, and they meant such a great deal to me at a particular time in my life (a time that I now feel strongly reconnected with), that I've got the quotation marks tattooed on my ankle. I wanted quotes for a while, and it made them feel more significant to get these particular ones, as they were so personal to me:
I really love the tattoo. It's a strange one though because I've thought about it for so long that it already feels as though I've always had it.
I went to my favourite local place today, Quiller Books in Buntingford, and picked up some more lovely non-fiction (including a lovely edition of Walden, complete with beautiful monochrome woodcut illustrations), so I'm off to get back to some reading!
Wednesday, 1 February 2012
Cold, so very cold
Apparently it's going to get down to -9 degrees here this week. It's been snowing a bit today, but not enough to make it worth getting down to that temperature. The only real upside of it being cold here is that it's beautiful. Sure, I have to sleep with 3 blankets, 2 quilts and 2 hot water bottles and I'm still cold. But in the mornings, the whole landscape is transformed.
Here's some photos from the last time it was frozen here, if I survive the weather this week, I'll get some more on here:
Here's some photos from the last time it was frozen here, if I survive the weather this week, I'll get some more on here:
Tuesday, 24 January 2012
I don't know...
...what this space is for at the moment.
It's quite an unusual thing for me to bring my laptop up to the room with internet connection. It's a little way from my caravan, and not really on the way to anywhere else, so it's too easy for me to just not come up here. Plus, I enjoy reading in my caravan too much to leave it often for the internet.
I started my Morning Pages again today because I had started to get bogged down in insignificant annoyances. I think this post by another caravanlander gives a good idea of what it's like here, and like her I've adored it for the most part. This past week though, I've felt a little of the ways of my old life (gossiping and petty irritations) creep in and take over my thoughts to an extent that I don't like. Suddenly, while churning over some small thing in my bed last night, I realised that getting back into Morning Pages might be just the thing to get myself away from all of that.
Which is my long-winded way of saying that when I needed an outlet, I sought something other than this blog. I don't think that's a bad thing - different writing spaces will suit different parts of my life, and it may be that for now there's not a need for this blog as much as there once was. But I think that I will come back to a place where I'm on here regularly. For now though, it will perhaps be a site for my quiet reflections, and for good photographs of the place I love.
If you want to keep up with the farm, the other Caravanlander's blog is probably better, as she's working hard to keep it well.
Here are those promised photos:
Some pigs! We have 400 here, some pink, some black (British Lops and Berkshires for anyone interested). They're all pretty cute.
This is the litter that I trained to bottlefeed. They're not doing it here, but they were pretty darn good at it.
This is Wilbur, the best/worst pig in the world. He's not very good at being a pig, but he's got a lot of personality.
This is a flower that I saw when it was still light enough to take walks before breakfast.
For some (unknown but surely wonderful) reason, there's a sewing machine mounted on the front fence of caravanland. It looks pretty in the dew.
It's quite an unusual thing for me to bring my laptop up to the room with internet connection. It's a little way from my caravan, and not really on the way to anywhere else, so it's too easy for me to just not come up here. Plus, I enjoy reading in my caravan too much to leave it often for the internet.
I started my Morning Pages again today because I had started to get bogged down in insignificant annoyances. I think this post by another caravanlander gives a good idea of what it's like here, and like her I've adored it for the most part. This past week though, I've felt a little of the ways of my old life (gossiping and petty irritations) creep in and take over my thoughts to an extent that I don't like. Suddenly, while churning over some small thing in my bed last night, I realised that getting back into Morning Pages might be just the thing to get myself away from all of that.
Which is my long-winded way of saying that when I needed an outlet, I sought something other than this blog. I don't think that's a bad thing - different writing spaces will suit different parts of my life, and it may be that for now there's not a need for this blog as much as there once was. But I think that I will come back to a place where I'm on here regularly. For now though, it will perhaps be a site for my quiet reflections, and for good photographs of the place I love.
If you want to keep up with the farm, the other Caravanlander's blog is probably better, as she's working hard to keep it well.
Here are those promised photos:
Some pigs! We have 400 here, some pink, some black (British Lops and Berkshires for anyone interested). They're all pretty cute.
This is the litter that I trained to bottlefeed. They're not doing it here, but they were pretty darn good at it.
This is Wilbur, the best/worst pig in the world. He's not very good at being a pig, but he's got a lot of personality.
This is a flower that I saw when it was still light enough to take walks before breakfast.
For some (unknown but surely wonderful) reason, there's a sewing machine mounted on the front fence of caravanland. It looks pretty in the dew.
Thursday, 5 January 2012
Back at the Farm
I'm back at the farm now, and I've brought my laptop with me so I can get back to blogging properly! I've also got my camera here, so for my first post here, I'm just going to put up lots of lovely photos of the place I live:
This is the path down to Caravanland, where I live.
This was my beautiful white trash Christmas tree. It was a plastic promo thing that I painted green and I put the lovely fairy lights on it that my dad brought me when he came.
This was a picture I took of the sunrise not long after I got here.
This is my lovely caravan! It's before I made some renovations to my porch, but it still looks beautiful.
This is the path down to Caravanland, where I live.
This was my beautiful white trash Christmas tree. It was a plastic promo thing that I painted green and I put the lovely fairy lights on it that my dad brought me when he came.
This was a picture I took of the sunrise not long after I got here.
This is my lovely caravan! It's before I made some renovations to my porch, but it still looks beautiful.
Friday, 30 December 2011
A fragment
I never remember the endings of things. I try to tell people the stories of my most favourite books or films, and always, where the ending should be, my mind is just blank. I can enjoy these stories over and over again, and be surprised each time by how they play out. On a good day, I think that this is wonderful, and that it is like being a child who finds things out for the first time. But usually, I feel like a crinkled old shell of a person, with a head full of fragments that don't piece together. Who am I that I can't recall a story from start to finish?
Stories of my own life are even worse, I have to rely on my family for them all. My father tells me of the time my brother and I dug for treasure by the window of an ice-cream stall at the beach, and all of the lost change that came out of the sand were our riches for the taking. My brother remembers everything, but keeps the stories to himself. If I ask him whether he remembers the scene in a photograph, he will say yes, but nothing more.
Stories of my own life are even worse, I have to rely on my family for them all. My father tells me of the time my brother and I dug for treasure by the window of an ice-cream stall at the beach, and all of the lost change that came out of the sand were our riches for the taking. My brother remembers everything, but keeps the stories to himself. If I ask him whether he remembers the scene in a photograph, he will say yes, but nothing more.
Thursday, 29 December 2011
Wednesday, 28 December 2011
The Beautiful Gift
I got the most wonderful book today from the Beautiful Girl for my Christmas present, More Things Like This:
It's so inspiring and interesting. It's got lots of interviews and discussions of the art form, and some great examples.
It's a lovely McSweeney's book filled with an apparently unnamable art form that combines words and images, like this picture below (made by me):
It's so inspiring and interesting. It's got lots of interviews and discussions of the art form, and some great examples.
Sunday, 23 October 2011
Big day - quick post
I'm dashing about today as I'm leaving this evening for my new job (here). However, yesterday was such a big day that I need to write a quick post about it now, so that it doesn't get lost in all the new job/new home palaver.
The day started with a parade in the centre of town where my dad's army unit got freedom of the city of Manchester. There was a lot of standing about, but it was still quite an impressive event. Here's a picture from the BBC website (taken by Ed Swinden with an amazing lens that I really want).
Then after that I went to a Manchester Literary Festival event, Words on Asylum and Refuge, organised by the beautiful girl for Amnesty International. It was a fantastic event, very moving and interesting. The best part for me was the talk given by Mende Nazer, who you may know a bit about if you saw the film I Am Slave last year (staring my fellow MGCer Wunmi Mosaku). I don't think anything can compete with the effect of seeing her talk about her experiences in person, but I do want to find out more about her, so I will definitely be reading her book, Slave, soon.
Some of mine and the beautiful girl's other friends came to the event, so we went for lunch afterwards, which was lovely. But then I had to dash off to go to the Great Northern Contemporary Craft Fair. Apparently it's been going on for a few years, but I'd never heard of it before recently. My very thoughtful brother got me a ticket for my birthday, as I'd asked for experiences not objects.
There were lots of amazing things there, which will keep me inspired for a good while. It was quite nice to see that all of the stuff there was out of my price range. Everything was well priced for the work that had gone into it, which I was pleased about. I quite often see crafters pricing their work very cheaply in order to make a sale. But at the fair, there were lots of sales being made, and lots of interest. I've taken a few cards for future birthday requests. The hats in particular were wonderful. I loved these by Sarah Cant, and these by H'atelier, who actually has a shop in Manchester that I have somehow never seen.
It was a very lovely day, and a nice way to round off my very quick trip back home in between jobs. Hopefully, I will have time on the farm to keep up with this blog, and I'll be taking my camera with me in order to capture my time there. Wish me luck.
The day started with a parade in the centre of town where my dad's army unit got freedom of the city of Manchester. There was a lot of standing about, but it was still quite an impressive event. Here's a picture from the BBC website (taken by Ed Swinden with an amazing lens that I really want).
Then after that I went to a Manchester Literary Festival event, Words on Asylum and Refuge, organised by the beautiful girl for Amnesty International. It was a fantastic event, very moving and interesting. The best part for me was the talk given by Mende Nazer, who you may know a bit about if you saw the film I Am Slave last year (staring my fellow MGCer Wunmi Mosaku). I don't think anything can compete with the effect of seeing her talk about her experiences in person, but I do want to find out more about her, so I will definitely be reading her book, Slave, soon.
Some of mine and the beautiful girl's other friends came to the event, so we went for lunch afterwards, which was lovely. But then I had to dash off to go to the Great Northern Contemporary Craft Fair. Apparently it's been going on for a few years, but I'd never heard of it before recently. My very thoughtful brother got me a ticket for my birthday, as I'd asked for experiences not objects.
There were lots of amazing things there, which will keep me inspired for a good while. It was quite nice to see that all of the stuff there was out of my price range. Everything was well priced for the work that had gone into it, which I was pleased about. I quite often see crafters pricing their work very cheaply in order to make a sale. But at the fair, there were lots of sales being made, and lots of interest. I've taken a few cards for future birthday requests. The hats in particular were wonderful. I loved these by Sarah Cant, and these by H'atelier, who actually has a shop in Manchester that I have somehow never seen.
It was a very lovely day, and a nice way to round off my very quick trip back home in between jobs. Hopefully, I will have time on the farm to keep up with this blog, and I'll be taking my camera with me in order to capture my time there. Wish me luck.
Monday, 17 October 2011
Adventures in the wild
This weekend I went on a Rustic Furniture Making course. It's something I'd asked my dad to pay for as my birthday present, due to the fact that I don't want to accumulate more posessions, but I do want to acquire more skills.
It was really good - even just the weekend away in the woods was wonderful, and the other people there were really interesting, but also the chair making was really good. I picked the course because it's something that I had no idea how to do; I had originally thought that I'd go on a craft course, but they were all really pricey for something that I could learn to do myself. This furniture making course was great though, I think I'll be able to use the skills elsewhere.
I've not seated the chair yet, so I'll post a picture once that's done (I'm just ordering the materials now!). You can see some more info on the course here, and these are some of the chairs that are made in a similar fashion to mine:
I will also be looking to do some other courses run through LILI in the future, they're really good value and a great learning environment.
One other interesting thing about the course was that somebody mentioned the Incredible Edible movement, which sounded good, and on looking into it, there's been a group set up in Wilmslow, which is not too far from here. I know that a few local people read this blog, so even though I'll be leaving town next week (heading to a new job at Church Farm) I thought it was worth a mention. The Incredible Edible Wilmslow site also had a link to this amazing tree identifying factsheet, which I will be using in future.
It was really good - even just the weekend away in the woods was wonderful, and the other people there were really interesting, but also the chair making was really good. I picked the course because it's something that I had no idea how to do; I had originally thought that I'd go on a craft course, but they were all really pricey for something that I could learn to do myself. This furniture making course was great though, I think I'll be able to use the skills elsewhere.
I've not seated the chair yet, so I'll post a picture once that's done (I'm just ordering the materials now!). You can see some more info on the course here, and these are some of the chairs that are made in a similar fashion to mine:
I will also be looking to do some other courses run through LILI in the future, they're really good value and a great learning environment.
One other interesting thing about the course was that somebody mentioned the Incredible Edible movement, which sounded good, and on looking into it, there's been a group set up in Wilmslow, which is not too far from here. I know that a few local people read this blog, so even though I'll be leaving town next week (heading to a new job at Church Farm) I thought it was worth a mention. The Incredible Edible Wilmslow site also had a link to this amazing tree identifying factsheet, which I will be using in future.
Wednesday, 12 October 2011
Decisions, decisions
I want to record today, as it's the moment of a big decision for me.
I'm not 100% certain that I'm doing the right thing, but I was faced with two very different options about how I wanted my life to go from now on, and today is the day that I have to give an answer.
It's been very difficult to come to this decision...well, no, I think that I made the decision quite a while ago, but it's taken me some time to come to accept it.
There will be times when I doubt myself, and I want to be able to look back on this blog entry and try and hold within it some small glint of this feeling, like a diamond chip secreted within tightly cupped hands.
The real moment of clarity came last night, when I was having yet another session of tossing and turning within sheets. I realised that if I took one of the options (what seems like the most sensible option) then I would be taking the road where I would never love what I do. The other option is not nearly as sensible, and it cuts me off from certain future achievements that I think I will miss. However, I think that it leads me down a road where I could end up in a place that I love.
Last night, I also remembered something that I hadn't really understood properly before. There have been many times when I've been doing things and I've not worried even the tiniest bit about the future or where I was going. Those times were when I was doing something that I loved. At those times, it didn't matter where the thing was going, because the present had been so fulfilling. But where I've been recently has been the opposite of that - I've thought about nothing but how to get on and get out.
The sensible option I'm faced with at the moment would be another step on a very similar road, and I'd always be looking around me for something better, and not appreciating even the good things. But with the other option, I think that it might be more difficult and challenging overall, but I can envision long swathes of future where I feel comfortable and happy with where I am in the moment.
I'm not 100% certain that I'm doing the right thing, but I was faced with two very different options about how I wanted my life to go from now on, and today is the day that I have to give an answer.
It's been very difficult to come to this decision...well, no, I think that I made the decision quite a while ago, but it's taken me some time to come to accept it.
There will be times when I doubt myself, and I want to be able to look back on this blog entry and try and hold within it some small glint of this feeling, like a diamond chip secreted within tightly cupped hands.
The real moment of clarity came last night, when I was having yet another session of tossing and turning within sheets. I realised that if I took one of the options (what seems like the most sensible option) then I would be taking the road where I would never love what I do. The other option is not nearly as sensible, and it cuts me off from certain future achievements that I think I will miss. However, I think that it leads me down a road where I could end up in a place that I love.
Last night, I also remembered something that I hadn't really understood properly before. There have been many times when I've been doing things and I've not worried even the tiniest bit about the future or where I was going. Those times were when I was doing something that I loved. At those times, it didn't matter where the thing was going, because the present had been so fulfilling. But where I've been recently has been the opposite of that - I've thought about nothing but how to get on and get out.
The sensible option I'm faced with at the moment would be another step on a very similar road, and I'd always be looking around me for something better, and not appreciating even the good things. But with the other option, I think that it might be more difficult and challenging overall, but I can envision long swathes of future where I feel comfortable and happy with where I am in the moment.
Sunday, 17 July 2011
The pet
My hair seems suddenly to have become very long. It is like an unruly pet, perhaps a cat, that is always shedding all over the flat. It takes up too much space in the bed and is always trying to snuggle up to my neck in the night until I am tormented by the heat and itch of it. It tumbles and falls always in the wrong places and seems to be in the way constantly. I pin it up and out of the way and then wonder why I don't just get rid of it if I'm going to do that all the time.
That is such a small thing to think about, but sometimes when everything feels so big and bottomless, I like to focus on tiny things until I know them entirely.
*Edit* I forgot, I wanted to post some pictures here. The subject matter is objectively quite disgusting, but up close it looks beautiful:
That is such a small thing to think about, but sometimes when everything feels so big and bottomless, I like to focus on tiny things until I know them entirely.
*Edit* I forgot, I wanted to post some pictures here. The subject matter is objectively quite disgusting, but up close it looks beautiful:
Just a short post
Because it's been a long time, and though I've thought about posting often, I keep coming online to do other things.
Here's a quote I've wanted to share:
'He didn't know what to do, he didn't know how to live. Each new thing he encountered in life impelled him in a direction that fully convinced him of its rightness, but then the next new thing loomed up and impelled him in the opposite direction, which also felt right. There was no controlling narrative: he seemed to himself a purely reactive pinball in a game whose only object was to stay alive for staying alive's sake.'
- Freedom, Jonathan Franzen
Here's a quote I've wanted to share:
'He didn't know what to do, he didn't know how to live. Each new thing he encountered in life impelled him in a direction that fully convinced him of its rightness, but then the next new thing loomed up and impelled him in the opposite direction, which also felt right. There was no controlling narrative: he seemed to himself a purely reactive pinball in a game whose only object was to stay alive for staying alive's sake.'
- Freedom, Jonathan Franzen
Monday, 4 July 2011
Manchester, England, England
That's the place that I'd rather be. I feel a song coming on...check it out here:
I watched the Great British Railway Journeys tonight, the Manchester to Bury episode. It made me feel so homesick - it even showed my street! I found the episode on YouTube, and I'm putting it here to return to when I need a boost.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
I watched the Great British Railway Journeys tonight, the Manchester to Bury episode. It made me feel so homesick - it even showed my street! I found the episode on YouTube, and I'm putting it here to return to when I need a boost.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Friday, 1 July 2011
Lovely videos
Well, would you look at this amazing compilation of Harryhausen creatures! It's amazing, almost unbelievable what that man could do:
Thanks to BoingBoing for the link.
Also, this interesting Google+ hack makes me think that it might be worth a look. The worst thing about considering changing site is that everyone's already in one place now. If that's not an object, I could consider it.
Finally, today at work we have mostly beenwasting time doing serious digital marketing research with the Hunter Shoots Bear videos:
Thanks to BoingBoing for the link.
Also, this interesting Google+ hack makes me think that it might be worth a look. The worst thing about considering changing site is that everyone's already in one place now. If that's not an object, I could consider it.
Finally, today at work we have mostly been
Thursday, 30 June 2011
Cheat sheet
I am absolutely loving this photography cheat-sheet. I love my camera, but I readily admit that I don't really know how to work it.
It's from Living in the Stills, via My Modern Metropolis:
It's from Living in the Stills, via My Modern Metropolis:
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